Sunday, July 08, 2007

Feathers? Huh?

Ever look at your friends/family members/spouse/colleagues and rate their accomplishments in the different aspects of life (career/mating/wealth/intellect/looks..etc) and then compare yourself to them? Then based on how you rate amongst them, you'd either get a sense of satisfaction or an immense feeling of inferiority? Ok, I guess this is a stupid question, because I am sure everyone does that, to some extent at least. But here's my question, what if the people you hang out with are all 5's in the different areas, and you are an 8.. This would probably boost your ego-meter and self satisfaction, and you'd live happily ever after.. or at least until you start hanging out with 10's, then you turn into that underacheiver and you'd probably start working harder to improve your rating so that at least you'd be comparable to your peers.

I could hear you saying that this is no ground breaking discovery, it is just common knowledge and as they say, birds of a feather, flock together. All of this is true but I find it really shocking just how far we are influenced in our judgement, of how successful or happy we are, by other people. So if I grew up in a family of Ph.D.'s I will always feel like a loser because all I have is a multi-million business, but no degree. Or, if I hung out with health-freaks, then i will be forever be waiting for that heart attack because I had an order of fries 2 weeks ago..

I wonder if there are people out there who have their own measures/standards of success that are not affected by other people's definition of what's success and what's not. But then again, I think this is impossible in an absolute form, because our core belief system stemmed from standards that were instilled in us by our environment growing up. And I believe this explains the differences in life values between different cultures, that place different importances on the different sides of life. Of course, you could grow up and be exposed to different cultures, change your beliefs, but then again you're still basing your judgement on other people's standards.

So I guess they weren't wrong when they warned us from hanging out with the bad kids when we were younger! Just think of it, a person who smokes may either feel that he has bad habits if he hangs out with non-smokers, or may feel that he is extremely good when he hangs out with druggies. It is really dangerous how many decisions we made in our life subconsciously based on how good/bad people around us are doing.. I think I am going to change the saying to Flock together, acquire same feather :P

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Girls' Spotting

Ok.. Now I realize that some guys will be turned on by this title.. NO, I am not a lesbian :P Not that there's anything wrong with lesbians, I mean homo's .. errrr whatever (Sheesh! It's getting more and more difficult to be politically correct these days *rolls her eyes*)..

So anyway, here's the story. A friend (more of an acquaintance) of mine called me up a few days ago. She says she is invited to this wedding, people not so close to them, that her sister couldn't come and if I were interested in going with her. I was like, okkk but who are those people? She says I don't know any of them, but we were invited, and since we're looking for a bride for my brother, we'll go look for candidates.


Ok.. so now we're saying we have an unacceptably large number of divorce in our society.. Ummm.. I wonder why!

For those who are not familiar with this concept, here is how it goes: Girls go to those parties dressed up and made up like clowns running to meet the Queen! Some girls maybe poor, but no one will spend less than a thousand riyals to buy or make a dress (and am giving you the lower end here).. Then, hair stylist and make up artist to glam them up! (well glam is more accurate when describing what they want to achieve, the truth however, is miles away from that! At least in most cases). Then there's this new trend, lets show 'em our goods! Bare backs, butt tattoos, bare midriff's .. etc (mind you these are women only parties). And of course, I cannot miss their struggle to get the invitation cards, so that they'll be seen by all!!

Come the wedding night.. and like a fairytale, all girls dressed nice and pretty go into the party.. To be greeted by the feirce eyes of old women looking for brides for their sons. Tall, young (has to be at least 5 years younger than the son), fair, slim, and with long soft hair. That's what they're looking for (believe me, it's 99.9% of them). Personality? Who cares! Education? Doesn't matter for a girl! MY son should only get the best!! And the best is what I see is the best.. The most beautiful girl in the party..

So lucky girls who get picked (oh my!) get asked for their names, where their family comes from, which part of the tribe they belong too.. etc etc..

Not too long after the party, the anticipated call comes! YAAAY!! They wanna come over.. OMG! What am I gonna wear!!! I better look good!!! So another shopping trip to get the perfect outfit (mind you, it's still only the mother of the groom who's coming,,, why get him involved so early on? It's not like he's the one who's getting married or something!). OK, so then the mom, with another woman come to the girls home on the assigned date. They don't take of their abayas and they stare at everything! The house, the furniture, the walls, the ceiling, the girl's mom (who greets them at first), the ant walking on the carpet.. awaiting impatiently for the girl to come along.. *drum roll here* and then the moment comes! The girl comes into the room *daaadaaa daaa daaaa*, the women's eyee widening, there's whispering (is this the same girl we saw? I dunno, there were so many!). The girl walks in so bashfully, her greeting cannot be heard because she is so shy, her eyes gazing at the floor, then she sits down, shaking to her core (the alternative version being she serves them drinks that end up spilling in the tray or on the ladies!! YIKES!)

So with all concerned parties present (the groom is not there of course), the talk starts.. Our son is.. our son is.. he is amazing.. religious prays in the mosque all the time (he could be smoking pot at this very minute), he has a great education (passed high school after only the 2nd try!), gets paid really well (could actually be true, cuz his dad knows the owner of the company that's paying him a decent amount to do nothing but to fulfil the minimum saudi requirement), he's really handsome! Tall (156 cm), athletic (the honorable KARSHA).. etc

Then, it's the girls mother's turn.. Ohhh my daughter is amazing too (the girl starts to shake at this point), she is an amazing cook (she fried eggs this morning), she doesn't spend alot (the 10K dress you saw at the party, she won in the lottery), she is amazing with kids (her baby brother is still in the hospital with brain concussion after she threw him out of her room), her morals are amazing (except that she got expelled from school last year), and (first and foremost) as you can see, she is "zay il gammar" (well.. it's hard to tell underneath all this make up)..

At this point the girl blushes, and runs out of the room oh so gently.. oh so embarrassed! The women say ya7lailha (oh so cute), then pleasure meeting you guys and good bye.

Of course, the trip back home, being driven my the knight in shining armor, is all giving details about the girl.. Then they call later.. Ask for the guy to see the girl.. Her father says NO! Not until they get married.. So they do, and he pays alot on it, then they see each other for the very first time..

>> I will leave potential scenarios here for your imagination <<

Marriages don't work. Shocker!

Friday, July 28, 2006

...and She's BACK!!

Yes siree.. am BACK! But don't count on it, it might be another year before I post again.. Not that my blog is all that great you can't wait for a new post to discuss with your english literature professor the next morning and awe your creative writing class by.. But I am just glad I have my own venting/ranting/thinking (yes, very occasionally, but I really do!!) space online..

So.. Now that I am here, I don't know what is it that I wanted to share with the world (or the 2 people who will read half-through my post before they decide IT IS time to go to bed)... Hmmm.. Ok let me think here.. I'd like to portray an intelligent person, who is cute and funny... Hmmm.. maybe a joke would do it? No no.. a joke would be so lame! Besides, am not the joke telling person.. Actually, I don't know what kind of person I am.. Oh yes, I am the person who's on vacation that is about to end.. BOOHOO!! Strange enough, I used to miss work after the 3rd day of staying home and doing nothing, but not this time.. It's been 2 weeks, and I didn't travel, all I do is sit in front of the TV, if I went out I'd buy stuff I couldn't afford (which is why I had to cut my credit card in half today!), and talk on the phone (L)

Suddenly, sharing my life with the world doesn't seem like a good idea anymore.. For those of you who managed to reach this far, who are wondering why the he*& is she still writing.. I am going to reveal to you my big secret...

Writing, burns off 1 more calorie per hour than plain sitting down.. Now, that I've done my exercise for the day, I can leave you in peace!

Monday, January 30, 2006

The Color Grey

Once upon a time, longer than I would like to admit, I was a child... Those were wonderful days, playing was #1 on the list of things to do, school was fun as there was always something new and fascinating to learn, and life was easy because everything was either white or black, and the definitions were set clearly by our parents, and reinforced by our teachers. Why don't we lie? Cuz it's wrong, mama said. Why aren't we supposed to fight with our siblings (although we did it anyway), cuz it's not nice, daddy said. We lived happy, because although we did not always do the right thing, we always knew what was wrong.

Time flew by, school was no longer fun, post-grad was a hassle, and work was a disaster. And suddenly, there are so many "opinions, preferences, life-choices" and nothing was black or white anymore.. Just millions of grey shades that even the most sophisticated plasma screen can't distinguish.. What the hell just happened here?

I guess we lost the privilege of having someone to take the decisions or do the thinking for us, and we ended up having to do that ourselves. However, there are a lot of people out there who do not feel the same way. Why? Because their "mom and dad" rule makers, became that influential talk show host, that excellent college professor with 12 digits after his/her name "Hotshot Professor, PhD, DMD, PDS, RBSS.. you get the picture ;)", or his/her gang of friends. Wait.. there's also the worst kind of mama and papa figures.. ADS! Yes, trust me, some people actually do use those, maybe for the less important decisions, but they do make choices based on those.

In a world where crazy confusing things are happening by the minute, it's getting harder and harder to understand and analyze what is going on, and spectrum of grey just enlarges, until it can no longer be contained in your "grey matter", it just outflows and runs as streaks in your hair. And in a desperate attempt to try and go black and white again, we color our hairs and go about, flaunting the look of "I know it all", with our one color hair.

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Boredom Ultimatum

So here I am, in a restaurant at a mall, all alone waiting for a friend.. All stores closed for prayer, cigarettes smoke from the next table suffocating me, with nothing to read/listen to/play with, but my cell.. So i decide to blog..

Here is what i learned about cellular blogging, you get your message out faster to the world (so now everyone knows that am bored), you get you daily finger exercise (with a high risk of developing carpal tunnel syndrome), and last but not least, you get to avoid the sorry.

Ok. Turns out, a cell phone can only let you type so many words. Which is why am glad that soon after I learned that that was all I can post, my friend called me to say that she has arrived. So I saved a draft, went on to give all my money to poor store owners everywhere.

And with that.. my boring story, of that boring evening, of my boring life ends. Hope you weren't too bored.

Take care all..