Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Girls' Spotting

Ok.. Now I realize that some guys will be turned on by this title.. NO, I am not a lesbian :P Not that there's anything wrong with lesbians, I mean homo's .. errrr whatever (Sheesh! It's getting more and more difficult to be politically correct these days *rolls her eyes*)..

So anyway, here's the story. A friend (more of an acquaintance) of mine called me up a few days ago. She says she is invited to this wedding, people not so close to them, that her sister couldn't come and if I were interested in going with her. I was like, okkk but who are those people? She says I don't know any of them, but we were invited, and since we're looking for a bride for my brother, we'll go look for candidates.

!!!

Ok.. so now we're saying we have an unacceptably large number of divorce in our society.. Ummm.. I wonder why!

For those who are not familiar with this concept, here is how it goes: Girls go to those parties dressed up and made up like clowns running to meet the Queen! Some girls maybe poor, but no one will spend less than a thousand riyals to buy or make a dress (and am giving you the lower end here).. Then, hair stylist and make up artist to glam them up! (well glam is more accurate when describing what they want to achieve, the truth however, is miles away from that! At least in most cases). Then there's this new trend, lets show 'em our goods! Bare backs, butt tattoos, bare midriff's .. etc (mind you these are women only parties). And of course, I cannot miss their struggle to get the invitation cards, so that they'll be seen by all!!

Come the wedding night.. and like a fairytale, all girls dressed nice and pretty go into the party.. To be greeted by the feirce eyes of old women looking for brides for their sons. Tall, young (has to be at least 5 years younger than the son), fair, slim, and with long soft hair. That's what they're looking for (believe me, it's 99.9% of them). Personality? Who cares! Education? Doesn't matter for a girl! MY son should only get the best!! And the best is what I see is the best.. The most beautiful girl in the party..

So lucky girls who get picked (oh my!) get asked for their names, where their family comes from, which part of the tribe they belong too.. etc etc..

Not too long after the party, the anticipated call comes! YAAAY!! They wanna come over.. OMG! What am I gonna wear!!! I better look good!!! So another shopping trip to get the perfect outfit (mind you, it's still only the mother of the groom who's coming,,, why get him involved so early on? It's not like he's the one who's getting married or something!). OK, so then the mom, with another woman come to the girls home on the assigned date. They don't take of their abayas and they stare at everything! The house, the furniture, the walls, the ceiling, the girl's mom (who greets them at first), the ant walking on the carpet.. awaiting impatiently for the girl to come along.. *drum roll here* and then the moment comes! The girl comes into the room *daaadaaa daaa daaaa*, the women's eyee widening, there's whispering (is this the same girl we saw? I dunno, there were so many!). The girl walks in so bashfully, her greeting cannot be heard because she is so shy, her eyes gazing at the floor, then she sits down, shaking to her core (the alternative version being she serves them drinks that end up spilling in the tray or on the ladies!! YIKES!)

So with all concerned parties present (the groom is not there of course), the talk starts.. Our son is.. our son is.. he is amazing.. religious prays in the mosque all the time (he could be smoking pot at this very minute), he has a great education (passed high school after only the 2nd try!), gets paid really well (could actually be true, cuz his dad knows the owner of the company that's paying him a decent amount to do nothing but to fulfil the minimum saudi requirement), he's really handsome! Tall (156 cm), athletic (the honorable KARSHA).. etc

Then, it's the girls mother's turn.. Ohhh my daughter is amazing too (the girl starts to shake at this point), she is an amazing cook (she fried eggs this morning), she doesn't spend alot (the 10K dress you saw at the party, she won in the lottery), she is amazing with kids (her baby brother is still in the hospital with brain concussion after she threw him out of her room), her morals are amazing (except that she got expelled from school last year), and (first and foremost) as you can see, she is "zay il gammar" (well.. it's hard to tell underneath all this make up)..

At this point the girl blushes, and runs out of the room oh so gently.. oh so embarrassed! The women say ya7lailha (oh so cute), then pleasure meeting you guys and good bye.

Of course, the trip back home, being driven my the knight in shining armor, is all giving details about the girl.. Then they call later.. Ask for the guy to see the girl.. Her father says NO! Not until they get married.. So they do, and he pays alot on it, then they see each other for the very first time..


>> I will leave potential scenarios here for your imagination <<


Marriages don't work. Shocker!

13 Comments:

At 9:35 PM, Blogger Psychedelic D. said...

Ok before anyone comes in with angry comments about "this is not always true", I need to remind you that this story and all its charachters are fictional. The events however, have been known to occur in our society (with multiple variations), the frequency of which is undetermined.
The author did not not intend to be disrespectful to any of the concerned (3ala rashom ba67a) parties, her aim was merely putting a smile on your face as you read the story. So don't dig deep, just take it at face value, and enjoy..

 
At 9:46 PM, Blogger Baroque said...

lo0o0l no, loved it!
love your blog ;)

 
At 10:41 PM, Blogger Jo said...

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOL i loved it, so bloody true!!!

 
At 11:11 AM, Blogger f_ said...

A very detailed report; thank you! :P Yet, I will not yield, I will not be that dumbfuck in shining armor! I will not compromise my future and accept my mom's choices and terms! Boy is she in for a surprise. And, no, I'm not planning on marrying an American; I don't like blondes, and I, certainly, don't like redheads.

 
At 12:52 PM, Blogger SaudiDDS said...

looool
LOVED it ;D
very true,thats exactly how things go here

 
At 6:18 AM, Blogger -Human said...

check out my blog! I like yours!
http://sanfranticso-inc.blogspot.com/
byez

 
At 7:00 AM, Blogger fire alarm said...

PD - You can't be any closer to the truth. You are so right. I hate the way things work, but old habits never change. The last couple of weeks I've been getting calls from my mom and sister talking about our new neighbours and they're girls !! GOD!

 
At 12:54 AM, Blogger My head said...

I hate weddings in saudi ,and i dont go near them .it's FAKE !

I like the cow pic :)

 
At 9:25 PM, Blogger Lavender© said...

lol.. that was bloody funny.. yet sadly true in many cases... :D Great Blog!!!!

 
At 10:10 PM, Blogger ren_crow said...

well its a no brainer that marraiges like that dont work (usually)

 
At 1:57 AM, Blogger N O O S H A said...

Geez ,u let me disturbed my family with my out-loud-stupid laughs XD
well , that's why i'm keeping running away from my " Eagle-eye Aunt " .. i feel bad about that kind of girls , they want to get married no matter what XD

 
At 3:11 PM, Blogger A Triumphant Pursuit said...

Check out our blog:
atriumphantpursuit.blogspot.com

 
At 10:06 AM, Blogger Khalid said...

I must say all you said was true unfortunately, even tho it can't get any worse than the senario you have described on your post, but yet in another better senario, the guy would see the girl at first before going any further (and i don't think i'd be able to go any further without seeing FOR MYSELF cuz i just dont trust my mother's taste) . . anyway, it was a nice post and a nicer blog. You keep up the good work ;)

 

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